1 November 2018
A Kiss from the Heart
It is already November and I look back on a tough year. But, still I can confess that God is a good and faithful God – no matter what we face!
When it is dark around you, you desperately need light. That light, is called Jesus Christ. His glory, is His nature, and He want to let His glory shine through men. Step-by-step, we are restored as we walk by faith – dependent only on God. In order to be restored, you need to surrender completely. This is the place where you can truly say, it is no longer I that live, but Christ who lives within me. It starts with seeking and enquiring after His plan for your life and no longer running after your own plans and dreams.
I’d like to share the word that Abba gave me in January of this year, whilst we were fighting for Aldo’s life.
“My dear child, remain steadfast through these dark trials. I know it is tough, but I will not leave you, nor forsake you. I will lead you all the way, but you need to follow as I guide you. Don’t trust in any advice from yourself – trust in Me alone. True faith is never found in self. True faith is in Me alone. I will lead you in ways that does not make sense to you or the world, but just follow Me. If you listen to man’s opinions or your own fear of man, you will not be able to withstand the tests. And, you will be unable to carry the weight of My power or glory. You need to be empty of yourself to be able to carry My presence.
My strength is made perfect in your weakness. You live in a dark and fallen world and the brokenness of the flesh is seen in everyone’s life. BUT THROUGH IT ALL, I want you to trust Me. Do you know that even the angels marvel as you as My children suffer, having had little exposure to My glory, and yet, you remain steadfast in faith and the truths I have shared concerning these dark times. Your love for Me will be proven, Retah, by standing for truth in Me, at any cost.
I allow you to feel the pain of Nehemiah, when he saw the brokenness of the walls of Jerusalem. As you look at Aldo and see his pain and brokenness, you will have My heart for My children and understand how I feel about their pain and brokenness. You are no different than Aldo, My children all display their brokenness in different manners. I am going to teach you and help you. I want My children to be healed. Remember you are body, soul and spirit. Follow Me, as I will guide you. Teach those around you, but don’t expect all to listen.
From My heart, I will reveal My truths to you. Remember that My truth alone carries the power to change man. You will see for yourself how My truths will change you, because they are Living Waters that come from the Well of Life. In My heart is the fountain of life. My child, even when you face death, I warn you not to become dehydrated. Come drink from the fountain of life. Come – come much closer – come My child, I want to kiss you with a kiss of My mouth. This is the only way you will receive revelation and life. You will receive strength as you abide in Me. I want to use your life as a movie – people will watch the enfolding story as they pass you by.
People will look at your life and see either life or death – you choose! You influence the script! No man’s life has changed by only a sermon. Lives are changed when people eat of the fruit of Life.
What do you offer man – even when you are facing trials?
Today, I hand you a very important key – abide in Me! When you dwell in My presence, you will see your own heart and that will lead you to repentance. And true repentance, My child, will lead you into My divine destiny for your life. And through it all… I WANT YOU TO FIND THE REAL YOU.
In My Kingdom, you are not known by your ranking, position, the size of your ministry, or what people’s opinions are of you. In My Kingdom, it is your heart that counts. I test and measure every heart weighing love, true humility and your willingness to serve others. Did you do what you did, for Me, or for the honor of man?
Retah, I know your walk is intense, but I want you to learn how to focus and keep on seeing My face in the midst of your trials. This will take you higher and higher, bringing you to your breakthrough. Keep on worshipping Me in Spirit and Truth. I want to do something very beautiful – just walk with Me, trust Me, step-by-step. I am your Abba Father, and I love you.”
These were intense words for a mother who nearly lost her child so many times. And in January 2018 he went back into a coma and we faced death, yet again. And this is how this story of ascending this mountain of trust and faith started in 2018.
On this journey I became very quiet. And again, I had to learn to focus, even when all you can see and feel, is the fire and smoke around you.
“Retah, the test is not the fire, but how you smell when you come out of the fire.”
After many months and nights of crying on my face before God, asking for Wisdom in the process – He as always – came through for us. Abba led me to take Aldo for an MRI scan which revealed much fluid and pressure on the brain. I googled and found a new technique used by neurosurgeons to relief the associated pain.
For months Aldo suffered severe pain. Then one night, Aldo said to me – “Mom, I can feel how death wants to take over my body”. And as I sat on his bed having nothing to say, Holy Spirit reminded me of the scripture that says, ‘If you have done everything – just stand’.
I said, “Aldo, you know that God will never leave us, nor forsake us”. I tried to get hold of a neurosurgeon, but they were all on leave and would only return in a week’s time. We already took the MRI scan, we already asked for the ventriculostomy procedure, but not every hospital have the equipment. Aldo could no longer cope with the pain and there was nothing more that I could do.
Peace and quietness came over me. I prayed, “Abba Father, he belongs to You and tonight I once again surrender Him to you”. I went up to my room and fell on my knees.
I heard my Father’s voice, “What can I do for you Retah?”
I was stunned – His voice was very loud in my spirit. That is the voice that we all want to hear. After some quietness in my heart I said, “Please grant me to walk in Your Righteousness, and live in Your Kingdom, because I know – all the rest will follow”.
I went to bed, placing my heart and all of my trust into my Abba’s hands. The next morning, I woke and found Aldo at the table having breakfast. That morning he wrote – “Mom, last night, the enemy was so angry with you. He wanted you to worry and pick up the treasure chest of fear and anxiety he had prepared for you. But, you refused. You surrendered me and went to bed.”
Soon afterwards, the doctor scheduled Aldo’s third ventriculostomy procedure. After so many years of struggling with shunts in his brain, it brought huge release and relief to the brain. No longer was he in constant pain to the degree of confusion. It is so humbling to see him pain free!
God also brought an amazing natural supplement over our path. Unresolved trauma affects our spirit, soul and body. This supplement helps to release and unlock trauma in the cells. Our whole family benefits from drinking it. I can just thank God in His great mercy that He guided us to this product. Never will a supplement take God’s and the Blood of Jesus Christ’s place. But, this was one of the things that God said to Me – My way is not your way. Just follow Me.
He guides all of us in a unique way and we cannot judge the way He speaks or deals with others. Sometimes the trauma walls around the cells are just so thick and sealed up and this product breaks down these walls. In the process the blood chemicals are healed and restored. Tinus is so much better. Chantel, Aldo, Josh and I see the breakthrough in the areas we needed healing. The trauma did not happen in one day – so the layers did not break in one day.
Josh had a skin condition called Psoriasis and it is now perfectly cured – all Glory to God. We have also seen much improvement in his school marks. Aldo can now deal with layer upon layer of his trauma and we get so much breakthrough with his deep hidden pain. Chantel is such a great example of the beauty of God, but also the strength. She deals with deep level trauma and still serves Aldo with so much love.
I can write a book just with my own life and the deep dark hidden pain that God is healing and restoring. When you have prayed – Show me my heart, dear God – He will.
The process of healing of the broken reed became just so much easier. We still need to deal with the brokenness. But, God in His mercy and grace takes us through it all. I can see how the huge walls of Jericho inside of us are tumbling down!
I learn a lot from Holy Spirit through Aldo’s writings.
God asked me earlier this year.
“Retah, will you trust Me and know that I will bring you through it all … Body, soul and spirit? I want My bride to be cleansed, healed and restored. Just obey Me. This is a process.”
The disciples asked Jesus – why is this battle so tough? And He said, “This one will only go through fasting and prayer”. This supplement has the same effect as fasting. It breaks the seals on the cells. It wars in the cells.
It does not take the place of fasting in your life, and nothing can replace prayer.
It is all about getting the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil out of us.
It is about breaking the bondage around the dark thick seals over our lives.
So, I want to share a prayer with you all.
Maybe you find it strange? Ask Holy Spirit to guide you – but believe me – this definitely helps to break the bondage in the spirit.
And you will see the effect in the body, soul and spirit.
So, let’s do it!
Take your stand and trust God!
I bless you my dear friend.
Let’s run the race of faith.
Retah and Family