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The unspoken cry of the heart

Matthew 18:29 ‘Please have patience with me’ – cried the slave as he begged his fellow slave for mercy.

The years walking alongside Aldo on his journey, taught us all so many valuable lessons of life. He walks with difficulty, speaks slowly, speaks loudly and asks us every day, “What day is it today?”

But he is VERY, VERY, VERY sensitive in the spirit and immediately picks up on people’s spirits and motives of their hearts. He is not concerned about people’s outward appearances, but only what is going on in their spirits (hearts). I have learned that life is all about what is going on in the heart of man. Because our actions speak louder than our words and speak of our character!

1 Samuel 16:7b  For the Lord sees not as man sees; for man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

Every evening Aldo can’t wait to come to the dining room table for dinner. In his eagerness he walks too fast – insisting not to be helped – and then often stumbles and falls on his way. My mother’s heart could not handle this, so we invested in wooden floors so that he cannot hurt himself if he falls.  But a week ago, while Tinus and I were away, he fell so hard that he broke 4 of his front teeth. These were implants he received after a bone transplant a few years ago, attached by screws – a costly and long process.  

As I walked into the house, the kids sat around the table and I could see they had something to say to me. They all just looked at me - Aldo, Chantel and Josh. They knew that Aldo’s teeth are very expensive and that he is not supposed to walk without help.

Josh had a whole speech worked out – but Aldo interfered, “Please have mercy and patience with me”, he said.

Josh said, “The truth is Mom, he didn’t walk alone. We played roughly and he fell on his face, it is entirely my fault. I take full responsibility.”

What could I say? The words – “Please have mercy and patience with me” were echoing in my spirit as I was looking at them.

I heard the soft gentle voice of Holy Spirit saying to me, “I AM the One who always has mercy on you, and I AM the One who is always so patient with you – show them MY heart tonight! Give them what I give you!”

The flesh of the unmerciful servant wants to stand up and say, “Did I not warn you to be careful, do you not know the cost of those teeth? How many times did I ask you to be careful?”

And again I heard my Abba, “Yes, just as I have warned you often, but still you did not obey Me, and yet you tasted My mercy. And yes, I know the cost of those teeth, I want you to know that I AM – I know everything and I will provide everything that he ever needs in his life! I AM the one who send him back, and I AM the One who will be his ever present protection and provision. I AM his help in need. I AM his ABBA!

You are his mother and you need to love him and have mercy on him. That is how I want you to help him tonight. But right now Retah, you have a belief system of fear and that is what the enemy is looking for.”

I sat with them and started to repent of my fear – right then and there I traded my belief system of fear for one of faith. “Aldo, Abba Father understands and He will always provide for all you might need. Let’s confess that together now and trade all our fear beliefs for faith in Christ.” Satan needs me to have a belief system of fear, because he uses fear.

Matthew 9:29  Then He touched their eyes, saying, According to your faith and trust and reliance [on the power invested in Me] be it done to you.

Now I know that our fear-based beliefs are under the blood, repented of, and faith in YHVH is all that can be used in the spirit.

YHVH is waiting for us to acknowledge our belief in Him, so that He can release His help in a time of need.

“Josh, Mom wants to take this false responsibility from your shoulders that you have been carrying since you were two years old - to look out for Aldo. He is not your responsibility. You can only help where you can. Please forgive me that I sometimes made him your responsibility. He belongs to Abba and we cannot insure that he never gets hurt.”

Maybe your child or partner does not struggle to walk, or to talk like Aldo, but they might be struggling with some or other outfall in life.  They also have a silent unspoken cry – ‘Have mercy on me!’  They might be using drugs or alcohol, be trapped in adultery or maybe learning slowly – they too are on a journey to find Yeshua, like you already have.

Do you hear their silent cry? – ‘Please have mercy on me’.

To have mercy - is to stretch out your hand to someone who is ready to face the fact that they have a problem and that they need help. Not to be in denial over the problem, or to give everyone else the blame – but to acknowledge it and to take responsibility for it.

The help we need to do this is found in Him and is acquired when we are

on our knees.  Isaiah 11:2  And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon Him—the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and might, the Spirit of knowledge and of the reverential and obedient fear of the Lord.

That is why it is so important to have our spiritual ears opened and attuned at all times to hear the cry for ‘mercy’ that comes to us from all those around us. This cry is echoed by our cry, ‘Abba have mercy on me.’

Late that night I went to Josh, and to Aldo. I put my arms around them and whispered into their ears – “Please listen to me, this is not the end of the world. Let’s rejoice that we are together and all is well with our souls. Our Abba is in control.”

Aldo looked at me smiling with all those missing teeth – that was a good enough reason to laugh out loud!

Abba sent a wonderful dentist our way and he handles Aldo so gentle. It is a long procedure and Aldo finds it difficult to sit still for such a long time. After Aldo’s first appointment he said at dinner, “Mom, Abba heard our prayers and he created the dentist long ago to be there for me today. He has Yeshua’s smile and he also loves Him.”

Chantel said, “He even said that he is going to see if the rest of his team will give us discount – just because!”

Tears came to my eyes and I just thanked YHVH for His FAITHFULLNESS – He is in control of the details of our lives.

James 1:4  But let endurance and steadfastness and patience have full play and do a thorough work, so that you may be [people] perfectly and fully developed [with no defects], lacking in nothing.

This is how testimonies are created. You give your ‘bad’ situation to Abba Father and He changes it for the ‘good’ and for His glory.

And even this, is already a testimony of a FAITHFUL ABBA FATHER! Only He can get the glory!

Let’s trade our fear for faith, so that YHVH can do the rest.

Remember – your belief system is what is used in the spirit.

Out of a beautiful cold Stellenbosch - Love to you.

Retah and family

Letter Translation

"Mom, I am so thankful. You love Chans so much. You are always there for us. Sarah, you always help Aldo. I am so sorry, and still you are merciful. I am sorry about my teeth, to be honest is the best. We really sis play Wollyboll. It wasnt the ball, I wanted to play calmly when it was my turn."

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