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Seeing past the pain of the present

It is not the absence of suffering, but the response to suffering that make one’s life unique.

This is an amazing week in all Christian’s lives. A week where we commemorate and honour our Messiah’s death, but above all, we celebrate His resurrection. Because of all He went through for us, we can look differently at trials in our lives.  We can go through them knowing that Yeshua has paid the full price for us to have life in abundance. We as believers are not exempt from trials in our lives, but we can be exempt from failing in them.

Leaven spreads and grows. This is also a time where Holy Spirit asks of us all to take all the leaven out of our hearts and lives. I went in for surgery on Monday morning the 14th and stayed in hospital till Wednesday.  I had so much time with Holy Spirit to run through the events and memories of my life. People have so many questions regarding sicknesses. Yes, it is always from the enemy’s camp, and yes, it can be leaven in our generations that needs to be cut out. But, for us as His children there are always healing - all because of Yeshua’s blood.  Always remember that we are people before we are anything else. And all people suffer trials in life. The fact that we love YHVH doesn’t mean that I will not have to fight the battles of my generation or the battles of life.

A number of things happen when we experience trials in our lives. You will experience conflicting feelings of faith, fear and the unknown. I read in Ps 71 Do not forsake me! Facing trials brings feelings of vulnerability and that is why David said: ‘YHVH is my source of security, a strong refuge, a rock and a fortress.’  YHVH is the only security we have. You also lose control and realize that YHVH is the only one that has control over your life. and then you realise that it is all about becoming aware of being totally dependent on Yeshua. From this place I closed my eyes and healed under His arm of protection. No one can save, but You Yeshua.

I came out of theatre and my body shook and shook. I heard His soft gentle voice saying “I AM WITH YOU”.

Then I heard Tinus’ voice”You are fine, you are just fine”

Humbling, to be so completely dependent.

I came home and my children’s arms were open wide.  From this humble and quiet place I ask Tinus to help me to wash my hair and shower. He helped me to dress and then put me in my bed. The pain floods through my body, but I hear


As I go back and review my memory bank I know that YHVH has been faithful to me throughout my life, and He will be once again. I see Yeshua’s compassion flowing through Aldo as he lies next to me on my bed and stares at me. He lifts his hand and strokes over my face with his hand that still shakes a bit: ‘Mom, heaven is filled with peace, but it is not your time yet. You will be OK.’

‘I know Aldo, tomorrow I will already be better.’

The tears flow freely from my eyes and these tears come from a much deeper place than a wound that hurts. It comes from a mother’s heart that looks at my broken child that stares at me with so much love and compassion. He had three seizures the weekend before I went in. But, this I know -it is only the enemy that wants to discourage me and hurt Aldo. With his weak body he keeps on encouraging me. ‘All is going to be well, Mom.’  

Translation of Letter:

Mom, everyday is a gift. Heaven is care-free.

I embrace life afresh, and know I have still so much to do for the King. And just as David do I say Ps 71:18 do not forsake me until I declare Your strength to this generation, Your power to everyone who is to come.

That is what I want to do for the remainders of my life. Our heritage must be one of consecration to YHVH.  If we choose to submit to YHVH’s plans, our testimonies of Him will become increasingly greater – knowing that He alone is the One who brings us through trials.

Life is painful sometimes, but YHVH wants us to be victorious and overcome. By the grace of YHVH and faith in Yeshua can we face trials and emerge victorious in battle.

Always remember – it is not about you. It is all about the King.

I am doing well, I am surrounded by love and I take humble steps - step by step. I am booked off for six weeks, but trust that I will be traveling/ministering after four weeks in Oudtshoorn.

There is a time for everything in life. Today is my time just to rest.

I bless you and love you.

Retah and family.    

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