please give me an undivided heart
It is Monday morning, everyone rushed to work and Josh is off to school. I have decided to work from home today. It is quiet in the house - only me and Holy Spirit. I can write so much better when it is quiet. My heart also feels this quiet today.
I look over the dam and the water looks like a mirror, it‘s only the fish eagle’s call that I hear. His loud calling resonates through my spirit. The sound of the eagle’s call makes me stop, leaving what I am busy with. Everything in me wants to respond to the calling of the eagle. ‘Lord, what are you saying to me?’ I fall on my knees, my heart ready, ready and open to welcome You, the King of kings. Please take your place and reign in every part of my life. I come today and lay it all down - my desires, my needs and my flesh. Again and again I will lay down my life and surrender to You. I want to speak out as the eagle this morning with everything in me calling out ‘I love you Lord, I love You, I cannot do it without You – it is all unto You’.
‘Your love is real. In Your love I can be myself. I can laugh, I can cry, I can ask for forgiveness – and You forgive me immediately. It is in the stillness of Your love that I find myself. I could never find myself in the crowd, in the competition of the world, in the voices of perfection. It is in You and You alone that I find acceptance – that I find love undivided – pure love. Give me Your heart dear Lord, a heart that is filled with passionate love. I want to start everything from this place - out of a heart undivided with Your love – a love that is so real. A love that will lay down his life for his friend, a love that will give up EVERYHING to stay in Your heart – undivided, surrendered unto You. Yeshua, please come and captivate my heart, take Your place in every part of me. Make my life Your own and let me hear Your voice as loud as I heard the cry of the eagle. You see my heart dear Lord, a desire to belong to You and You alone. To have an undivided heart, that is surrendered to the King that is the cry of my heart.’
How hard is this for man’s flesh? What is the cry of the eagle inside of you? What do you cry out to YHVH today?
‘If only I can be happy, if only my husband can stop..., if only my children can be..., if only He can heal my leg.., if only I can get this job? If only, if only! No, I have found the answers to be in the stillness of His love where I wait. There I realized that it is all about Him and Him alone.
So, as I waited this morning I heard Him say, ‘Retah, inside your heart, my child, is a place - a place of rest. Come into My rest I am waiting for you. When things don’t go as you would like, know that I am still, YHVH. I AM still on the throne. It is all about Me, it is not about your comfort rather about you dying to self. I am asking of you everything Retah, yes, everything! Remember, that I AM sovereign over your circumstances. Always first seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all the rest will follow unto you. Humble yourself under My mighty hand. Rejoice in what I AM doing in your life, even though you do not understand any of it. I AM the Way, the Truth and the Life. In Me you have everything you need, both for this life and the life to come. Don’t let the desires of your flesh, the pain in your heart, the love that you need to lay down, the fact that you are not perfectly healed yet, and the lies of the enemy that you have to have all this to be happy draw your focus away from Me. Your ultimate challenge is to keep your eyes fixed on Me, no matter how you feel, how it hurts, or what the world says. Make Me, the centre of your thoughts. Then, you will be able to view your circumstances from My perspective. I AM busy transforming you into My likeness and it is a process of sanctification. It is a process of fire.’
Do you also hear the cry of the eagle deep inside of your heart, my friend? Sometimes it is so loud and sometimes it is a continuous crying out. Maybe it is a cry out of pain, but, ultimately it would be a cry of victory where the Spirit of Life overrules the spirit of death in our lives. Glory to YHVH, who never gives up on us. So whatever you do, do it as unto YHVH and not as unto man.
We exercise hard for our Kilimanjaro climb. It is so amazing to spend time in the mountain. At 4 am we wake up to start hiking the mountain three times a week. The quietness in the bushes is like honey to me. I can hear in my spirit how the rocks are praising His name and the trees clap their hands. The Word of God says that if we don’t want to worship Him, the rocks will cry it out! I never feel so close to Him in a shopping mall, maybe it is because the concrete doesn’t bother to cry out His name?
I know when YHVH asks you to do something for Him, that He gives you the mandate to go and do that specific task. Out of your obedience He will also then give you the ability and strength to complete the task. Even though I sometimes fall over rocks on the mountain, I get up and climb on. It is a wonderful time of fellowship with Yeshua and even between Tinus, myself and our friends Deon and Lourette.
‘Holy Spirit, I embrace and draw from the love of YHVH that You put in my heart.’ Without that love I would not be able to walk this walk. It is a humbling walk were Wisdom reveals so much to me, through Aldo. The more He reveals the more I have to die. I realise all too well the responsibility that goes with receiving this Wisdom and Truths - so that I can help Aldo and many others that are also broken. These broken people include me and you. But, He wants His bride healed and whole living in His Light. It comes at a huge price, but I know today that whatever you put in Yeshua’s hands, even if it is so, so bad, so painful, or come with a huge sacrifice – that He will turn it around for His glory. And in the process we will be transformed into His likeness.
I wonder if I may ask you today: ‘What is the cry of the eagle inside of your heart, right now?
As I look out of the window I can still see the eagle on the dry tree inside the dam – maybe it is because even he knows ‘in the stillness of Your love we find rest and love.’
Make time to hear His cry for you.
How I love you, and thank you so much for all your mails and support to the ministry.
Retah and family