9 August 2020
We are all so broken – and we all know that –“broken fathers break their children, and broken children become broken fathers”. It is such an evil cycle of life. But it becomes worse, because we start operating out of an ‘orphan spirit’. Many years ago Aldo said to me “Mom, I see in you an ‘orphan spirit’ ”. I thought – well, maybe it is because I was in hostel from grade one? I had no idea what it meant to have an orphan spirit. The longer I walked the journey, the more I started to realize what the depth of this condition meant.
I came out of a house were love was earned, deserved through works. Just because my dad was broken himself, he did not know how to love ‘unconditionally’. The children under such a system also get hurt because of the You are never good enough feelings, emotions, pain and thought patterns. The hurt and the pain quench the human spirit and an orphan spirit develops. I am not talking about a demonic spirit, it is our own spirit that feels alone, not good enough, insecure, that we do not belong and have to try and earn love. What an evil cycle. Spiritual orphans struggle to receive the Father’s love, or even the love of people - all out of past hurt and rejection.
You may know all about the Father’s love, but could never experience or truly connect to His love. Even if you are in ministry – this could be you. An orphan spirit hides behind independency and denial of their pain – the true condition of the heart. O, how denial nearly killed me. Denial is out of hell and is the thick layers that keep you blinded from the truth. Orphan spirits control relationships with anger and find their comfort and identity in achievements, positions, addictions and strife for control and power. Out of their insecurity they always have the need to be the best, to win, to fit in no matter the cost, to walk over people. They are jealous, have to try and earn YHVH’s and people’s love, are driven by the need for success, rebels and want to look important through material positions, physical appearance and activities - and they have no trust in man or Yeshua.
An orphan spirit cannot be driven out, that heart needs healing. We all need the unconditional love of Yeshua – only this brings healing. Only when you are healed through the love of our Abba Father the process can begin of entering into mature son ship. And the world is crying out for the manifestations of the sons of YHVH.
Rom 8:19 For [even the whole] creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God's sons to be made known [waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their son ship].
I look back over a time in my life and can see the healing in my heart. Today, I know that this is why Yeshua wants our hearts healed. Because someone with an orphan heart cannot forgive, cannot receive love, cannot love and cannot trust. This is exactly what the enemy wants, because you will also struggle to walk in faith. The more healing I received the more I could start walking in son ship.We must die to any and all ungodly beliefs that keep us from becoming sons of YHVH. Abba is waiting to decree our son ship not only to the world, but to all the powers and principalities of hell. It is time to start operating in victory and to fight out of victory. It is time to ask forgiveness through the Blood of Yeshua and allow Holy Spirit to have full rule and reign in our lives so that we can be free and healed.
My healing started the day when I humbly surrendered all of myself to Yeshua -withholding nothing. I chose to die to all that I was holding on to. Painful, this was so painful but, this was the best thing I could do for myself and all around me. Today, I just walk as a son of YHVH, rejoicing in His faithfulness.In good days or bad days – I choose to rejoice. Not, because of what I gain from this, but because of who He is.
My life is just a walk of faith. I don’t really look around, I just do what Abba asks and this I do by faith. Many times I am mocked by the world and even Christians. But, I know my Abba and just want to be faithful to His call. All because I love Him – that’s all. Not for any other reason. No, not even so that He will heal my child because of my works – no. Just because I love Him! Aldo received his healing through Yeshua’s blood and by faith in Yeshua - nothing else!
Eight years ago He asked me to write “a Message from God”. A true life story of a mom that cried out to God, because her son was dying and she was so lost because of her orphan spirit and hardened heart. She had an encounter with the Most High God – El Shaddai – the Super-natural God who can do all! The God that nothing is impossible for – all you need to do is give your whole life to Him and trust in Him. Her son met Yeshua in heaven and came back with a message from God – “I am on my way, but my bride is not ready….”. Many letters followed from Yeshua’s heart through a broken boy. Every time his mom looked at him, her heart was broken over and over again - until one day this boy asked her – “will you please look at me through Yeshua’s eyes? You are looking at me through your own brokenness, and you fail to see the goodness of YHVH”.
Yeshua asked me to trust Him, to hold on to faith in Him. Till this day you will find me holding on to this treasure of faith – in the one hand - and in the other hand the treasure of hope. I can go on and on…. As I finished the book and it was time to go to the publishers, I received a letter telling me how evil my son and I are. I still remember how I cried that night and said ”dear Lord, please, please speak to me. If Aldo’s letters are evil, and if I am evil and fail to see that, please speak to me. I need you tonight! Please speak to me before I take this book to the printers.” With a wet pillow I fell asleep. I woke up that night with His glory all over our bed. “Jesus, Yeshua, is this You?” I asked in my spirit. I heard “Yes, this is Me.” I totally forgot to ask about the book – I asked ” Why are you so good to me?”. He answered” Because you love Me”. Then He said – “give Me the book,” in my vision I gave Him the book, and He blew His Spirit in the book and said “ Every one that reads this book will experience My Spirit, and this will be a best seller”. I woke up and knew that I knew that I had had an encounter with Yeshua. I went to sleep again with so much peace knowing that the book needed to go to the printers. The next morning Aldo wrote ”I saw Jesus was with you last night”. Well, you can just image how much joy my heart felt. It helped me through many times when people gave negative comments about the book– just to keep standing on His word!
I went for a run Tuesday afternoon and came back. I sat in front of my laptop and started reading my mail.
Hi Retah,
Hope you and your family are doing well! I have some exiting news for you!!
I just want to let you know that you became a NY Times Bestselling author yesterday.
Your book “A Message from God” hit the NY Times Bestselling Nonfiction list.
Congratulations!!!! (Destiny Image USA).
I went on my knees and say “You are truly faithful Yeshua, You are so faithful”
All the Glory to a Father that is faithful, we just need to obey Him!
It is not how good you are – it is just obeying His voice.
Ask Yeshua’s Glory Light into your orphan heart and take His hand in this healing process – day by day – step by step.
Love Retah and family