15 January 2013
It is the year 2013 – I was a bit slow in writing this webletter, but believe me, the year started with incredibly fast little steps. I so badly wanted to take every step with grace but soon found that although it started with small fast steps, I quickly found myself running again. We came back from Cape Town (having had a wonderful time of rest) and Josh's school started. The night before he said, mom I need a new schoolbag. We live in a small village, so I had to drive to the city the next day for a proper school bag. Then the office opened and I had one meeting after the other. After only three days back home I had to fly back to Cape Town for God TV recordings. I think I am apologizing for a late web letter! After many mails that asked where are you?, is everything ok?, I realized that I have to get into the rhythm again. My heart for this year is to have a “little bit- of a more normal life”. So I had a run, ate breakfast with my husband,prayed together and blessed our family with YHVH's plans for our lives. And now at the office, I get on my knees, as I once again surrender all my weaknesses to Yeshua and declare my dependency upon Him. You see, I know what the Father showed me for His children this year – but, but, but – for us all to experience that – there is a price to pay. And the message of today is maybe not what you wanted to hear. But, if we want to get to the fullness of what He has for us, we have to get to emptiness of "self”,own dreams, own visions, own desires. He is not interested in mixed seed - which is what the heart of man is filled with now. The journey is deep, He took us right into our DNA, on a very deep and intense walk of healing and restoration, all for His Glory and to have Kingdom here on earth.?We started to see healing, freedom and the promises of His fullness. I see that not everybody is choosing this road. No, people want quick fixes. But if you are willing to die and surrender all of self – you will surely not only be healed, but live a life of fullness in Christ Messiah.
If there is a verse that speaks volumes of what it means to be filled with Holy Spirit or to experience the fullness of Yeshua and have His rivers of living water flow out of us unhindered, it is Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ [in Him I have shared His crucifixion]; it is no longer I who live, but Christ (the Messiah) lives in me; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son ofGod, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me.
There is a cross and a throne in our lives. If "I" am on the throne, then Christ is on the cross. But if Christ is on the throne, then "I" am on the cross, carrying my cross daily. The measure in which we will allow the cross to operate in our lives, to bring death to our own selfish ambitions, our ways, our rights, our interests – is the same measure by which Christ will manifest His life through us. There was so many of my own dreams and plans that I had to surrender, so that Gods perfect plans and His Kingdom could manifest in my life.
In John 12: 20-21 there were some Greeks among those who went up to worship at the Feast. They came with a request. Sir, they said – we would like to see Yeshua. The answer Yeshua gave them was similar to that given in John 12: 24,25: What Yeshua was saying to them all was ”If you want to see Me, YOU MUST DIE. Only through die to self, will you find Me". That is the same answer for you and me as we struggle with life and seek Yeshua and His fullness – die to self and you will find Me. Die to the selfish desires of the flesh and soul. In my office we minister to so many people who are going through divorce. And I often hear "he or she cannot satisfy me, he cannot make me happy." What I hear is that it is all about you! Christ is the only One that can fill your life with real life, and as you find Him – you find life in abundance!
If you want to hear Him more clearly and get to understand and know the beauty and love in Him, you have to understand that it is all about Him. We must be the grain of wheat that falls into the ground, broken, crushed, so as to see greater life produced. But we all keep on holding on to our lives and plans, even when Yeshua said clearly that if we hold on to our lives we would lose them. We will remain as we are. I have come to learn that I have to surrender daily. 2 Cor 3:18 And all of us, as with unveiled face, [because we] continued to behold [in the Word of God] as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are constantly being transfigured into His very own image in ever increasing splendour and from one degree of glory to another; [for this comes] from the Lord [Who is] the Spirit.
The beauty of His presence is that the more you gaze upon Him, the more you change without even trying to. In one of Yeshua's first sermons He told the crowd “blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God” (Math 5:8). What does it mean to be pure of heart? A pure heart has no selfish life or ambition in it – "I" have been crucified. Yes, you can be filled with Holy Spirit, be baptized in His Spirit, do whatever you do best, yet, you can still be so full of and driven by fleshness and pride – your carnal, hardened heart still determines your actions and reactions to others. Why is that? Because being gentle, soft hearted and the carrier of Christ's character never comes through the gifts of Holy Spirit or by being filled with Holy Spirit. It comes through the cross and your choice to embrace brokenness, just as Christ did. That is why you see many people will minister in the gifts of Holy Spirit but still operate in selfish desires and motives. It is still about themselves. In 1 Cor 11: 24 Yeshua said “this is My body that is broken for you’. He chose brokenness to embrace the cross. And we look for some supernatural event to change our situation. Yes, it will change - but you have to let Yeshua show you the corruption in your heart and be willing to go to the cross and pick up your cross and follow Him. Be willing to humble yourself, to be broken again and again and again. This is the only way to have life. As long as you hold onto it, you will lose it. But once you choose to be broken you will experience the life of Yeshua in all its fullness.
Remember today, it is not about what happened to you, it being fair or not, or what that person said to you. It is about your response. It is all about the condition of your own heart. The problem is not out there – it is in our own hearts. So every time you get discouraged, everytime you want to give up, every time you are in conflict with someone, or have no peace in your heart – remember Yeshua uses all those things to bring you to the place of – dependency on Him, where you are broken and realize that you cannot do it out of self – AND that is where and how self dies!
The way of peace – is to have peace with YHVH in your heart. It is to have a life without strife - a life from which rivers of living waters can flow. Today I know that I would never be able to walk this walk of faith without brokenness – (where "I" am broken open and allowed Holy Spirit to use an empty vessel to manifest His Kingdom on earth). Where I realized my dependency on Him alone – and my love for the King Yeshua my Messiah. If you are willing to surrender – you will be able to live life with enthusiasm. To the full and create moments in every day, moments filled with faith, hope and love.
How I just love the King that took our hands and walked us into our destiny. It is possible for you too, because I have never seen a man giving his hand in Yeshua's and not being led into his perfect destiny. Yes, it may take you over hills, and into valleys, but remember hills are made to climb out! Run the race that you are called for, get up and know you can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
We as a family are doing very well. All in Yeshua's hands, -Tinus are going with me to Germany and Switzerland, as well as America. And the kids are going with to Mexico for an outreach there. We are all excited about the year and the great breakthroughs that is waiting for us, I prophesy this in faith. We are still in the process of restoration with Aldo's trauma, but we are making progress! Step by step we have learned so, so much about the DNA, and still are - with the guidance of Holy Spirit. But the good news is that the more we die, the faster He works, and the more Retah got out of the way the more Holy Spirit could do. I am very excited about the spiritual keys that God gave us and this year we are going to start sharing them at the Spirit Schools. But it is Spiritual keys, to be used in the spirit. Because the battle is in the spirit. Be ready – and prepare the Highway of Holiness!
Love to you all – enjoy life, live life,celebrate life – all to the full in excellence!!!!!
I bless you Retah and family