What we lack today is not a better
I have come to understand, that what we lack today is not a better living – rather a better dying.
The airplane is packed as we return home from New York. Everyone is scurrying to find their seats and to get everything stored away before the long journey starts. I sit and stare at the clouds outside...there are so many different shapes and sizes. From every cloud I learn something new. I peer deep into the clouds; maybe I’ll see something special...?
“Retha, it all depends on how you train your spirit-man. When you look deep, and then deeper still, into My eyes – there you will see what other people can’t see. But you need to focus, and have a desire to see me. Yes, also to see your destiny. But be careful that the entertainment the world has to offer doesn’t steal your focus away from Me, because the desires of your flesh can sometimes dominate the desires of your spirit.”
Suddenly I hear, “Anything to drink, Ma’am?” and when I return my gaze to the clouds outside, I realize that I have lost the beautiful cloud that had me so intrigued while the Holy Spirit was softly speaking to my heart and making the tears flow easily over my cheeks... in the cloud I could sense the greatness of my King. He is the one that counts the stars every night, and then He calls each one by their name. He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name (Psalm 147:4).
Suddenly there is a dark cloud that overshadows my vision of the beauty outside, and softly I whisper under my breath... “Oh, no!” He hears my whisper, because He knows me, just as He knows each star by name. The next moment we break through the clouds and His warm rays of sunlight illuminate me. It is like healing-rays that wash over me. My husband, who is sitting next to me, calmly takes out his handkerchief and offers it to me. Sometimes, by saying no words, the most special sentences can be uttered. “Thank You Jesus that we are never alone!”
Psalm 139 says:
O LORD, you have searched me and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before; you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
December 2009 was once again, for us as a family, knee-time – a time of intense prayers and calling out to God. Once again, a time of dying to self. Each December my family and I spend the whole month on holiday together in the Cape. Aldo still had his school convention in Bloemfontein to attend, and he had the amazing privilege to meet Mr. David Ring (http://davidring.org/). I believe it was a divine appointment, pre-destined by God, so that Aldo could see God is true to His word, because he met a living testimony that God fulfils His promises. Not that he doubts that fact – but it is good for all of us to see how God fulfills His promises in the lives of others - that strengthens our faith.
Aldo won a trophy for “Souls for Christ”, and it did him good to also receive a prize. Even while I am typing this sentence, I can hear the Holy Spirit asking, “Do you think it did Aldo good; or rather that it did you good?” You are right, Abba. Things like these no longer matter to Aldo, but I still hurt when I see other people’s children receiving prizes and I then have nothing to say.
Time is passing on the airplane, and once again I stare at the clouds outside, and silently pray, “When will I truly be dead to myself, Jesus? When will these things also no longer matter to me? Why did I still hurt in December when all the other Mommies told me about the achievements of their children and how well they did in their school reports? Why is it so difficult to die to self?”
“Dying to self is a continual process, Retha. So that you can experience My resurrection life.”
Again Tinus takes out his handkerchief and hands it to me. “Rather keep it with you, Retha” he says. It makes me think of how Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit, and He also says “Keep Him close to you – because He will dry your tears. But you must keep Him close!”
Coming from the convention, Aldo and Tinus joined the rest of the family at the seaside. Aldo wasn’t himself at all. But for everything there is a reason. The convention was too heavy for him to handle, especially after he had an operation to insert a new shunt in his brain only two weeks earlier. Maybe that is the reason, we thought. Maybe his body is struggling to adapt to the new shunt? The sicker he got, the more explanations we tried to find for his condition. He wrote in one of his letters: “My brain needs fluid, Mom. Lots of fluid, Mom!” Later we realized he had to go to the hospital again, because he was uncontrollable because of the pain, and he kept on writing that Wisdom says his brain needs fluid! Tinus took him to the hospital in Cape Town, and I stayed home with Josh. Everything inside of me kicked against the idea! “Lord, no! Why do we end up in the hospital every December? What else does the enemy want to steal from us?? Aldo’s new teeth in his mouth is going to cost us about R180 000, and the enemy just keeps on stealing from us!”
The gentle voice of the Holy Spirit answered me, “I am so glad that you are starting to realize that it is the enemy that’s stealing from you, Retha.”
“What do you mean, Abba?” I responded.
“Aldo is not sick. The enemy planted demons in him when that person in the church prayed for him just before he fell from the balcony at the end of October. And those water-spirits, Retha, are not all out. They come in big groups. They are the reason for his sickness. Those water-spirits are after his destiny, Retha!” I am speechless, and I sit down on the floor. “Lord, can it be true? I was always the one that judged people for blaming demons for their sickness.”
“Retha, can you remember that I told you, you will not preach about anything unless you have tasted it yourself? You are going to have to expel those demons, because they are sucking the fluid from his brain.”
“What! Can things like that happen, Lord?!”
“Yes, My child. My people are perishing because of a lack of knowledge.”
The operation during the holiday was the fifth operation in two months. Tinus phoned me from the hospital and said, “Aldo was in the operating room again, they opened his stomach and his shunt is working 100%. Retha, I am bringing him home. They have no idea what is wrong with him.”
But he kept on writing to me that his brain needed more fluid and he was going crazy from the pain! I realized that Holy Spirit had spoken to me, and that this telephone call was just a confirmation that it was the demons draining the fluid from his brain, because there was no explanation in the natural. I was even a bit skeptical to share this with Tinus, but I knew I had to. Once home, Tinus showed me a letter that Wisdom wrote through Aldo, “Mommy, it is the water demons that are draining my fluid. They want to kill me. They are also the ones who pushed me off the balcony. Mommy, Wisdom says you must give me a lot of rehydrate cool drink (5 liters) every day.”
As we began to give him more fluid, he quickly got better. A friend of mine also confirmed that Holy Spirit told her Aldo needed to drink rehydrate cool drink. Thank You, Jesus!
Then, all of us sat down on the floor and started praying that Holy Spirit would lead us to drive out this evil that had been planted in Aldo. I shared with my family what Holy Spirit had spoken to me, and once again the McPherson household locked the doors for the December holidays – the warfare began! At first I jumped up and hugged Aldo, crying from joy, jumping up and down on the bed, and yelling “We found you out, Satan. We found you out! With everything in you, you want to steal our child’s destiny, you want to steal our money, you want to steal our joy and our holiday, you want to steal our lives – you are the thief that is spoken of in John 10:10 that came to kill, steal and destroy! You want to keep on traumatizing Aldo, and now we found you out!” I cried and laughed at the same time. Tinus looked at me dumb folded, “Retha – we are going into spiritual warfare now, and you are so happy about it?”
“Off course I am! We found him out! How many people’s lives does he steal by making them believe they have some or other sickness!!! How many other people are there who are as ignorant as I was - who don’t want to believe that the enemy can send demons such as these to make you sick! It’s the demons! Yes, the accident caused Aldo to get hurt, but after that there were doors in our lives open through which the enemy could gain access. They are sly, and they will use symptoms that medically already have a name assigned to it – like depression and trauma… But now we know better!”
Then the battle started. Josh brought his sling-shot and a sword for me. I smiled at him, at explained about the armor of God, and that we were now going to use the Word of God as our sword. Now I understand that I didn’t see the enemy’s tactic because I was like Elisha’s servant - my eyes were closed for the reality of the spiritual realm around me. And on top of that, I was criticized after Aldo wrote a letter telling of how he was pushed of the balcony by the demons that were planted in him through someone who prayed for him in an African language (that we couldn’t understand). After that I only wanted to get this demon thing behind me. And so the enemy uses Christians against each other to keep our eyes closed for his tactics.
Through the Word of God I received guidance on the subject, but you need first-hand revelation from God in your spirit, to understand this truth of the reality of the spiritual realm. Remember, the power of darkness will disguise himself as an angel of light. Make sure you know who prays for you. Be sure before you let anyone lay hands on you – even if it is in a church! And before you pray for someone, make sure you are clean! We forgave everyone, and walked on – but now the demons have to be cast out, because they want to kill Aldo!!
I drew Aldo close, and held him tightly, and I explained to him what I was about to do – that I was not going to be speaking to him, but to the enemy. He wrote, “Mom, Wisdom says He will guide you – you don’t even know the demons, He will tell you how to address them, because this is going to be a big fight against Lucifer himself, Mom. He is mad because you found him out. Keep on looking at what I write, Mom.” And then I started – 14hours on and on we went – and I learnt a lot! Wisdom kept on telling me what to do through Aldo’s writings. Hundreds of tears flowed over my cheeks. The demons kept on saying “We are going to kill him!” And I kept on fighting back. Later, I ended up on the carpet, crying uncontrollably… “Jesus, I can’t go on anymore. Please send a legion of angels to help us Lord!” Then Aldo wrote: “Mom, please don’t stop!” Through it all we gave Aldo rehydrate to drink. Whilst I was lying on the carpet, wet from my tears, I said again softly, “In the name of Yeshua Ha’Massiah, I cast you out Lucifer. You have no right to my child’s life and I bind your works. Get out of my child!” And I heard a loud noise where Aldo sat on the couch writing his letters. Sometimes he (his body) was part of the fight. He fell from the couch, and I heard a scream coming out of him. Immediately I jumped up, and put my arms around him. The bottle anointing oil also fell and broke, and he was lying in the oil. I took out the broken pieces of glass that stuck to him, and with his head in my lap, I anointed him while he was lying under the anointing of the Spirit of God. His one eye fluttered open, and the smile coming from his face cleared up all my tears. We cried, laughed, anointed each other with oil, while enjoying the victorious moment. “Mom, did you see the hundreds of Angels that came to help you?”
He then went into the bathroom to take a bath, and I heard him say: “Please wash me with Your blood, Jesus, so that all my sin will be washed away. Like this water is falling over me, please wash me with Your blood, Jesus.” Completely spent, I sat on the floor and took communion – Jesus had overcame, because He that lives in me is stronger than he that is in the world! Immediately I heard Jesus say to me: Matthew 12 – keep the house clean! So, once we got home from the holidays, I phoned someone who has a lot of wisdom and experience in the area of deliverance to come and help us. She prayed for him, and Wisdom showed us exactly through Aldo’s letters where the “spies” planted things on him. We removed everything through the power of the cross – many of the things came in through the hospitals, because there they also plant devices into people.
Wisdom keeps on writing through Aldo, and I am dumb-struck about how real the spiritual dimension actually is, and how it affects the natural realm. Aldo is now 100% free! The life he has been living with God is supernatural, and the enemy is after it. Every time that we phoned him from NY he gave me so many new revelations that I struggled to keep up with him! My child is clean, and now I know that demons can come in through hospitals, churches, even through people that are close to you through doors that are open to the enemy. Also, that demons sit behind pride, self-justification, bitterness, envy, and that they hide in a lot of sicknesses and so much more.
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by good conduct that his works are done in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. 16 For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy. 18 Now the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
People cannot use foul language, or blasphemy God’s name, without a demon sitting behind it. Anger is a demon, and then people go to anger management classes! (It should rather be called train-your-demon classes). But we will always look for a reason or an excuse for our behavior or illnesses. Please, don’t misunderstand me – with this I am not saying that all sicknesses are demons! But that demons use the symptoms of sickness to keep us in bondage.
That night, the 2nd of January 2010, is a night I will never forget in my life. While lying in bed I heard a soft voice say, “Here it is, look for yourself.” The next moment I was in hell. I yelled, and screamed, kicked and tried to protect myself as I felt their arms coming around my neck. They wanted to kill me. The “deathness” of this feeling paralyzed me. I saw the different dimensions of the hell, the deeper I went in, the heavier the feeling of death became. I still struggle to talk about it. The whole of the next day I could only cry. In NY I tried to write down what I experienced that night – but still I felt like I couldn’t do it. Tinus shook me awake after I yelled: Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! until my voice was about gone. “Why did I have to see the hell, Jesus?” I asked later. “I want you to release the captives Retha. Hell is real. Demons are real. Please go and set the captives free.” It is now Jesus asking this of Retha. The same Retha that always said people can sometimes go on too much about demons? The same Retha that said illnesses cannot be demons?
“Yes, Retha. All I need is a heart that loves Me, believes in Me, and will be radically obedient to Me. You have seen it, tasted how they wanted to destroy you. Yes, you will have empathy with my children, for without My love in your heart, you will not be able to drive out demons. It is not the person, but the demon that must be driven out. I want all of the captives to be free before the anointing can come – but most of them live in the flesh, and that is why they don’t have My resurrection power in them. Retha, the more you die to yourself, the more power I can release through you. That is a law of nature. You can’t just ask for My power, is comes by dying to yourself.”
When we arrived in NY, I realized that God had taken me to a new level and I was walking in a new dimension. I looked around me as we were riding on the train, and perceived everything around me from the new level God had allowed me to see. I could see how demons were trying to take over lives. With my hands I covered my eyes… “Jesus, is it right for me to see these things? Please, divide my spirit and soul” I pled. “Please divide my spirit and soul with Your Word and Your blood!! I don’t think I am allowed to see these things!”
“Retha, I am allowing you to see these things, for the way I want to use you. Don’t have preconceived ideas on how I can use and train My people. I am God – go and set the captives free!” As we were moving between people, I recognized the enemy and all the hairs on my body were on end. My first thought was: Fight or flee? The person didn’t want much to do with me. I went to my room and fell on my bed, “Jesus, I will do it – please just teach me exactly what to do!” Suddenly I realized that I shouldn’t become offended when people are nasty to me – it is not them! While I was lying on my bed I missed home tremendously, and I thought about Aldo’s last letter before we left: “Mom, I am so thankful you also saw the hell. Now you will understand better why God asks holiness from His children.” It is wonderful for me to think that God still uses me for His kingdom – I still have so much to learn!
I phoned home again and it was snowing in Manhattan. “Aldo, what I can bring you from America?” He replied: “Josh says he wants a bubble-head toy, Mom.” “What is that?” I asked, “another insect or something – you know I don’t know the latest toys, I can’t keep up with you kids!” (Well, we couldn’t find one – people just looked at us strange when we asked for a bubble-head) “But what can I bring for you, Aldo?” “You can bring me a movie contract, Mom. Wisdom says there will be a movie, and I will tell everything He has taught me.”
The people God has sent across our path are fantastic!! He sent us a family who are willing to set up a home office for the ministry in their house, fully equipped, and prepared for us with so much love. Our ministry has now been registered in America, and we also have an American bank account! Wow, Lord, that can only be You! Thank you Tim and the family from Long Island! You welcomed us with open arms and helped us so much!
The church in Long Island was filled with the Spirit, and I am going back there to facilitate a Spirit School during my next visit to America. The church leadership only wants the fullness for the congregation, no matter how weird it may seem. There I understood again how the Bride is going to look. She will not look like the rest of the world – but she will be set apart for a time such as this. Only as You plan, Lord – Your will, not mine, be done!
Then I spoke in an Indonesian Church in Queens – what can I say – those people love the Lord not for what they can get, but for who God is! It was wonderful for me that my husband could be there with me, and that he could also experience how the Indonesian people worship God – with such freedom, and sincerity, with such a hunger for the truth!
This is the hour in which God is going to bring down self-made Kingdoms. Look out for churches that are going to tear, churches that are self-made. Well, here I have seen a Kingdom church! The last night of our trip we spent the evening with our friends Jason and Sari from Manhattan. God has blessed them with a brand new apartment overlooking Central Park. Jason and Sari, thank you so much for your love! And the amazing evening we could share with you!
The children and Ma’am Patrys went to my friend Linda’s lodge over the weekend. The lodge is in the bushveld, and Josh could enjoy the nature, and the animals and the game-drives! Josh told me in detail how many elephants and other animals they saw. My parents also joined them, and it was the best telephone call when I spoke to Ma’am Patrys and she told me how strong Aldo was in the Spirit and that He was enjoying God and the angels; and how Josh was enjoying the animals; and how all of them were counting the stars with Jesus at night. When I finished with the call, the tears were unstoppable – because it was the first time that Tinus was with me on an international ministry trip, and to top it all off, the children were so happy at home! And we could just relax, because Jesus was entertaining and looking after the kids. The web-site of the lodge where the kids were staying is: http://golfingafrica.com/. This is a place where my family and I can go for a breakaway from the rest of the world, and just experience God and His creation. Many of you have met my friend Linda, because she sometimes travels with me when I minister, and this is the lodge that Jesus has blessed her with. If you ever want to experience, a little bit of heaven and paradise here on earth, you can visit the lodge. Linda we love you!
I can see all the other passengers snuggling up under their blankets and it seems as if my light is the only one still burning, so maybe I should finish this letter. I want to apologize that I didn’t write a letter during December. The truth is that I couldn’t find the words at that time. I had to stop myself or my tears would have drenched my laptop. I can only cry when I think of all the people that have been so good to us.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for each and every one who has made a donation towards this ministry. Even if it was only a few dollars, thank you! At the moment, all the money we receive into the ministry account goes for the Hebrew translation of the book. We are busy translating the book into Hebrew, and thank you Jules and all the translators who are working so hard on the book for the Israel project!
This year, we want to equip all our partners from around the world with a monthly teaching. The money that you sow in this ministry is on Kingdom ground, and we pray for each of you for a hundredfold return on your seed! I wish you could see how Aldo prays for the partners. Please don’t think that your specific needs are not prayed for – please send them!
Thank you that you believe in me – thank you that I can share my faults and shortcomings so openly with you. Please, don’t put your eyes on people, people are fallible. And I am no different – I am only human! I know people want to believe that Aldo is perfect, but he is not. He is only human – just like you and I.
3 Do not put your trust in princes, Nor in a son of man, in whom there is no help. 4 His spirit departs, he returns to his earth; In that very day his plans perish. 5 Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, Whose hope is in the LORD his God, 6 Who made heaven and earth...
Thank you that you are believing with me for Aldo’s complete healing. Thank you for each hand-written letter from around the world. I wish I could share them all with you – because they are just so precious! An old lady wrote to our American post-box: “My child, just never lose your joy in the process – because the joy of the Lord is your strength!” And in another letter a father and his children wrote: “Retha, Aldo represents the bride of Christ – his eye will open when the bride’s eyes are opened.” It is so amazing, the love we receive from around the world!
Then there are also all the partners of the ministry – I want to give you my word today, that I intercede for you every morning – for you and your household, because I understand my responsibility to pray for you. Then there are all my friends from around the world that pray for me, and just love me, even if I am not such a good friend to them back. I have heard and seen what friends do for each other, but I can’t seem to do it right – my life is just too busy with the ministry and my difficult road with Aldo. I want to say thank you because you love me just the way I am! I have friends that I can text and tell about the revelation God has given me – thank you that you are excited with me, even if you don’t always understand! Thank you to the doctors and all the others that walk this road with us, and who are learning with us as we go along!
Then I look at my beautiful husband, asleep in the chair next to me. Softly he whispered in my ear during the night, “Wow Retha, it is fantastic how God preformed that healing in the church that night, and it is fantastic how God made that leg grow out again and healed it, and how she could stand up and walk! Retha, He is going to do it for Aldo too!” And then he turned around and slept further.
I look at you Tinus, and I can see how God is building you up in the spirit – and how you had to die, to become the father of a young boy, Aldo, so that he could live and become the mighty instrument of God that he is today.
I can see how God is helping you to die to yourself and building you up to be a father to a young boy, Josh, who loves the Lord with all his heart and soul, and who is not afraid to shoot at demons with his slingshot.
I can see how God is building you up to stand next to me and to worship God is Spirit and Truth.
Thank you for everyone in my office that are so faithful, and who help me to lift my arms and to make my workload lighter. I appreciate each of you!
Thank you to the network of people from around the world that love us.
Now I am going to sleep – tomorrow a new day is waiting for me, and I am excited to take it on, because Jesus is alive!
I honor God for you – may God bless your spirit.