The Grace of Today

Way, way back home they spoke of the good old days.

But as time moves forward, you begin to realise that those days cannot be lived again. And in that realisation, something new is revealed - the grace of having today.

Today I am not alone. I will never be alone, because the Word of God says that He will never leave me nor forsake me:

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

And in this, I am also reminded of the gift of those God has placed close to me.

As I write this, I am on a plane with Tinus, on my way to Johannesburg to see my mother and family. My heart is full. I reflect on two little girls who grew up before my eyes and found a deep place within my heart. Today, they are women - married, raising children of their own, walking their own race with grace, gentleness, and kindness.

Even though it is my brother’s children, they are well loved by all. That is called family love.

"Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight… and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” (Hebrews 12:1)

The young children run around, full of life, yet within all our eyes are stories untold. They all grow up; they need us to hear. The little tummies are fed, but the hearts also speak—and as parents we learn to listen. A privilege to look in each other’s eyes, and realise that I have gracefully learned, perhaps later than I would have loved, the voice of the heart. In quiet moments, memories begin to speak, and the voice of the heart speaks differently than we often expect. Yet, the voice of God is never silent - and neither is our voice within.

To keep your heart and mind in alignment, I pray.

Test my heart, dear God - is a soft voice… as the fear of God will always lead us not in temptation but deliver us from evil. We need to always listen to our inner voice and surrender all unto Him.

“My sheep hear My voice…” (John 10:27)

Being with family brings a deep reflection. I see my own life, my own race, mirrored before me. And as I looked into my mother’s eyes, I see the journey called life - marked by strength, by struggle, and mostly by finding our strength and faith in God.

It has not been easy for my mom, even watching her navigate life after her strokes. Yet, she holds onto God with unwavering faith. And we are reminded that both the mind and the heart must come to rest, because time… is in God’s hands:

“To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

Every day remains a gift—a new opportunity to say, “Jesus, I love You.” 

There are moments that reveal deeper truths. You look, and you see for yourself - TRUTH has no expiry date. TRUTH will set you free:

“And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32)

We see how even memory can fade, yet something deeper remains.

Above all voices, the blood of Jesus Christ speaks a better word:

“…to Jesus the Mediator of the new covenant, and to the blood of sprinkling that speaks better things than that of Abel.” (Hebrews 12:24)

A Word that silences accusation and calls us to choose wisely this day.

I now prepare to go to Mozambique with a group of friends around the world - to serve, to love, and to bring hope even back home.

“Let God arise, let His enemies be scattered; let those also who hate Him flee before Him.” (Psalm 68:1)

This is the assurance we carry: that God is both a faithful Father and a righteous Judge.

He calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves:

"You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39)

If we struggle to love ourselves, how then do we love others well?

The way we see ourselves becomes the measure through which love flows to others.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Yet many wrestle with a hidden root - self-hatred and spiritual apathy. This often grows from wounds, rejection, shame, guilt, and the deep fear of not being enough. Over time, it distorts identity.

But there is always hope.

It is often on our knees that we rediscover our strength. It is there we realise that we do, in fact, have feet to stand again.

It is when we bow down before God YHVH, that we can see for ourselves that our own shoe string can make us fall - always take responsibility for your own life. We can stumble over our own blind spots.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13)

The inner places of our being speaks, even when we have no words:

“For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 139:13)

Sometimes, the soul becomes quiet—not in peace, but in withdrawal. This is where spiritual apathy begins.

Yet God desires truth in the innermost being:

“Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts.” (Psalm 51:6)

Self-hatred is not your identity—it is an agreement formed in pain.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21)

So the question becomes: Do you see yourself through the lens of pain… or through the truth of how God sees you?

Because love does not begin with us—it begins with God.

“He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” (1 John 4:8)

“We love Him because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)

Healing is not striving harder. Healing is receiving truth.

You cannot hate yourself into holiness. You also cannot live without His breath in your lungs.

In Christ, you are made new:

“…for without Me you can do nothing.” (John 15:5)

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties.” (Psalm 139:23)

To awaken. To see. To align with truth.

Self-love, in its pure form, is not pride — it is alignment with how God sees you.

And from that place, love flows freely to others.

“The kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:21)

You are fully known, and deeply loved by God.

And though others may misunderstand you, speak against you, or wait for you to fall—you are still given the invitation to forgive:

“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.” (Luke 23:34)

And in humility, also to say, “Lord, forgive me.”

Have mercy on us, dear God.

Even when we do not see clearly, I pray please Lord Jesus reveal Yourself to us.

So let’s remain aware—watching our blind spots:

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3–5)

This letter was written in a moment, yet carries a journey. And now, I rest, and know God leads us into the next.

To God, YHVH, be all the glory.

Thank You, Jesus, for loving us. Lead us, step by step.

With love and God’s blessings I pray, Retah and family 🌿