“I started this fire,” says the Lord, “but you must keep it burning.”
It is 5am on Monday morning. Cape Town is still dark around me, and very cold. My family dropped me off at the airport a few minutes ago and they have started on their 16 hour drive back to Hartebeespoort. We were all up at 3:30 am this morning to get ready to return home after spending some time in Yzerfontein for the school holidays.
I am flying home because I have to be in time for a meeting this afternoon. As I am sitting in the airport lounge I can see a torch burning in the darkness. The sight of this picture stirs something deep inside of me, because seven years ago a woman of God brought me a torch when I was standing next to Aldo’s hospital bed when our circumstances seemed very dark indeed.
She said, “Retah, I am just being obedient. Abba Father told me to place this torch in your hands today.” As I was standing there in the ICU wondering about the meaning of it all, the Lord spoke to my heart and said, “Retah, I started this fire in you – but you must keep it burning. Take My light around the world and tell them that I am alive.” (Photo:Retah with Elisma and Sammy - the cousins.)
After a couple of weeks Aldo woke up from the coma, and later he wrote: “Mom, Jesus sent me back to tell the world that He is alive!”
Can you imagine how I felt when I read his letter? Yes, that day I knew that I knew that I knew that Jesus is truly alive and that He is no man that He should lie.
Now, seven years later, while I am staring at another torch reminding me of when our journey started and thinking back over all we have gone through, I am having a moment of self-pity. The journey is really tough some days. I was so ignorant back then about the spirit realm. Even today I know there is still so much I have to learn!
“How can you use me, Lord?”
The Holy Spirit answers my thoughts with comforting words, “Easily Retah... because you love Me and you love My presence...
“You can only carry this torch if I am close to you. It is when you walk away from Me, or try to do things in your own strength, when you feel the torch is too heavy for you to carry. The more you try to walk in your own strength or reason with your carnal thoughts about Aldo’s situation, the heavier the torch becomes.
“You will carry this torch for Me as my messenger across the world. Many have carried it before you, but as some point most of them have put it down. If you put it down, someone else will pick it up and run further with it.”
“Yes, Retah – you see, there is no power on heaven or earth that can put out this light if you totally surrender to Me and walk with me in the realm of My kingdom. People get burned out because they try carry the torch in their own strength. You need to stay very close to me. I am the source of your strength and I will sustain you. If not, it will become dark and cold around you.
“Torch bearers will be confronted with the powers of darkness, because the purpose of the torch is to drive away the darkness. The light you carry is the good news (the gospel of My Son Jesus Christ), and the enemy knows that you carry a message that destroys his works. This message is for the nations Retah. All nations and every person needs the light of My Gospel for the hour that we are about to enter into.
“Aldo carries his own torch. Every one of My messengers has their own torch to carry and the brightness of the light is determined by how close they stay to Me. When people start complaining about how heavy the torch is, it is because they look back at their old lives when they were running with bare hands and they think it was better back then. As the time of darkness is coming My torch bearers will be those have learned to walk with Me and to stay close by My side. They will move when My Spirit moves and they will stand still when My Spirit tells them to wait.
“Have you seen that humbleness is required to carry this torch, Retah? When you get tired and weary you begin to think that by putting down the torch you will be able to run faster... No My child, don’t get tired! When you put down your torch you will be parading with the show horses and no longer running with the wild horses. You have to endure to the end, and you have to help Aldo to do what I called him for.
“I know that you sometimes wonder if it is worth all this pain and trouble that you have to endure, but you cannot judge the answer to that question from your perspective. Even if Aldo lives his life like he is doing at the moment, his writings help so many people to be prepared for My coming. Make sure that you stay close to Me. I am your strength and your shield – trust Me to protect you, and just love me the way you love Me; for everyone who doesn’t love Me more than anything else in the world, will fall and lose their torch.
You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ. But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness. And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit who lives in you (Rom. 8:9-11).
“This is a ‘spirit’ walk Retah, not flesh. Yield your spirit to Me so that I can strengthen you. Then you will be able to hear My voice more clearly and you will have better vision. Don’t run after what feels good My child, rather STAND in My presence until you feel Me prompting you to move. Wait on Me.”
I look at the torch in the spirit that I have put down next to me while typing this letter. I pick up the torch and decide that I will never again put it down. “From now on ‘torch’, you will go wherever I go. I cannot afford to be without you even for one second. So now you and I have to go for coffee, because it is almost time to board the airplane.”
We are all doing well. I am learning step by step. On Sunday we all went out for the day and even Aldo had a good time!
Much love to all of you!